✨ Sayings of the Wise #8 — Discern Stingy Hospitality (Prov. 23:6-8)

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✨ Saying #8 — Discern Stingy Hospitality

📖 Proverbs 23:6–8 (NIV)

“Do not eat the food of a begrudging host,
do not crave his delicacies;
for he is the kind of person who is always thinking about the cost.
‘Eat and drink,’ he says to you, but his heart is not with you.
You will vomit up the little you have eaten and will have wasted your compliments.”

🌿 The Hebrew word for “begrudging” (רע עין — ra‘ ayin) literally means “evil of eye” — a person whose glance reveals stinginess, envy, or a calculating heart. This saying reminds us that generosity without sincerity is hollow. True hospitality flows from peace, not pretense. The following diary pages invite us into the hearts of four women who each experienced this truth through different lenses — their temperaments.

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Rochelle’s Journal 

Dear Journal,

Last night’s dinner was beautiful — candlelight, matching napkins, perfect music. But beneath the elegance, something felt wrong. The host kept insisting, “Eat! Don’t be shy!” while her tone whispered, “I’m watching every bite.”

As I drove home, Proverbs 23:6–7 echoed in my heart:
“Do not eat the bread of a begrudging host, nor desire his delicacies; for he is the kind who is always calculating.”

I looked it up later. The Hebrew describes someone with an “evil eye” — a person who gives while secretly counting the cost.
It made me pause.
How many times have I done the same? Offering help but secretly feeling resentful afterward?

Wisdom doesn’t just teach me to spot false hospitality in others — it calls me to purify my own motives.

Lord, help me to give without measurement.
Let my kindness be free, not filtered through fear or perfection.

— Rochelle

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Grace’s Journal 

Dear Journal,

Today, I stopped by a neighbor’s house unexpectedly. She welcomed me in with the warmest smile, saying, “I don’t have much, but come sit with me.”
We shared tea and biscuits — nothing fancy, but the peace in that room felt like a feast.

Later, as I read Proverbs 23:6–8, I realized this verse isn’t just a warning about others — it’s also an invitation to recognize the value of simple, sincere hospitality.
The text says: “Do not crave his delicacies.”
It reminds me that sometimes, what looks lavish can leave the soul empty, while what’s small and honest can nourish deeply.

Hospitality isn’t about food; it’s about fellowship.
Generosity without peace feels forced, but peace shared freely feels divine.

I think that’s why Jesus broke bread with such calm joy — every meal was holy because every heart was open.

I want that kind of table.

— Grace

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Lydia’s Journal

Dear Journal,

Hosting last night’s dinner revealed something uncomfortable.
Everything went smoothly — the dishes, the serving order, the timing. But when I replayed it later, I realized my thoughts had been more on “how much it cost” than “how much it meant.”

Proverbs 23:7 came alive for me: “He says, ‘Eat and drink,’ but his heart is not with you.”
The stingy host Solomon described isn’t always someone else — sometimes she’s me.

I looked up the phrase “his heart is not with you” — it means his will, intention, and affection are disconnected from his words. That’s powerful.
God cares about unity between our actions and our attitudes.

It’s possible to do the right thing with the wrong heart — and wisdom exposes that disconnect so grace can heal it.

So tonight I prayed:
Lord, teach me to serve without calculating, to give without guarding, and to love without ledger-keeping.
That’s the kind of leader I want to be.

— Lydia

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Kendra’s Journal 

Dear Journal,

What a dinner! Fancy dishes, glowing candles, and the kind of dessert that should be in a magazine. At first, I thought, “Wow, this is heaven!” But as the evening went on, I noticed something — our host seemed tense, almost as if every compliment was costing her something.

When I came home, I reread Proverbs 23:6–8.
It finally made sense — “Do not crave his delicacies… for he is always thinking about the cost.”

I love beautiful things and joyful moments, but I’m realizing not every table is filled with peace.
Sometimes what sparkles is showy, not sincere.
And when you sense that, it drains the joy out of the moment.

So here’s my takeaway:
Don’t chase every invitation that glitters.
Go where the hearts are kind, not where the plates are full.
And when I host, I’ll make sure my laughter costs nothing.

— Kendra

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🌸 Reflection Thought

“True hospitality begins in the heart, not the kitchen.”
“Generosity without sincerity feeds the body but starves the soul.”

Wisdom helps us discern not just what’s being offered — but the spirit behind the offer.
It also checks our own hearts: Am I giving freely, or calculating quietly?

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💭 Reflection Question

After reading these four diary pages, whose journal entry sounds most like you, primary temperament–wise?

• Rochelle 
• Grace 
• Lydia 
• Kendra 

✨ Share in the comments below, which one reflects your primary temperament — the way you discern, give, and respond to hospitality?

📝 Keep tracking your points:

• One (1 )point if your answer for saying #7 matched your primary temperament.  Record your score on the Chat.

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🌸 Closing Encouragement

As you go about today, let your hospitality — whether through a meal, a message, or a moment — be sincere and free.
Give with peace, not pressure.
Welcome with joy, not judgment.

As you go about today, remember, a simple meal served in love is a royal feast in God’s eyes. 🌿